Illustrations

There is no excuse for these Ink Poems, yet, they exist. It's one of those big questions that should really be properly analyzed by Stephen Hawking or Steve Buscemi, but until one of them get around to it, we'll just have to accept their existence and try to get on with our lives as best we can.

Chance Press, on the other hand, seems to feel their existence is justified without any expert analysis whatsoever, so they have made this collection of Ink Poems available to you, the common man, for a price anyone - yes, even someone more broke than you - can afford.

Join the literati, cognoscenti and Illuminati and own this fine example of book making and disturbed artistic expression. Run go tell the neighbors, ring the alarm and shout it from your rooftop, if you have a rooftop.

40 pages, 6 7/8 x 5", hand sewn, trade: $9, deluxe: $20, hardcover sold out

Short story

This is an ode to a great song wrapped in a ridiculous story about hipsters singing Karaoke. It will shake your nerves and rattle your brain, and you won't be able to get it out of your head. Like that song that haunts you right now.

Karaoke Fever! is only available in the Athenaeum set, which also includes stories by Stephen Hines, Hosho McCreesh, Justin Barrett and Soheyl Dahi. The set was published and hand-bound by Bill Roberts, mastermind behind the incredible and inimitable Bottle of Smoke Press. It is a limited edition of only 26 copies.

Each book has some kind of hand made art or poem included, and it's all wrapped up in a clamshell case covered with paper currency gathered from the four corners of the earth. It's way too high class for you, but maybe you know a person of more refined taste who would be interested.

I don't know what Athenaeum means, but I know this is a one-of-a-kind hand-made monster of a set. Believe it!

Set of five single short story books, 7 x 5", hardcovers in a clam shell case, $200

Essays, 2003 - 2009

One or two things needed to be salvaged from the defunct blog, so I pulled all the old posts up, went through them and thought, "Hmm, some of this doesn't suck - why not salvage a bunch of this stuff?" So this well thought-out volume came to be. It's best not to think too much, and this pocket-sized bottle rocket is proof of that. If I'd a thought about it, I never woulda done it, as Bob Dylan said.

181 pages, perfect bound, with a full color black and white cover featuring some creepy Holga photos. It is yours for a pittance here on this site only.

Carry the entire Internet - the good bits anyway - in your pocket!

181 pages, 7 x 4.25", perfect bound, $9.95

Short story

An important story that has the power to create world peace and bring you unlimited personal wealth. A heart-wrenching tale of a boy and his guitar, this small, handmade book is destined to be handed down through generations as a precious, venerated heirloom.

What really happened: I hypnotized the kids at Chance Press into believing that they had to put out a book featuring the story of the guitar I played when I was a teenager. Zombielike, they complied, and produced this very fine little hand-stitched book that will warm the cockles of your heart. If you have a heart.

Sorry, the deluxe special edition of this little bastard (shown on the right) is sold out. Click below to buy the trade edition.

16 pages, 5.5 x 4.25", hand sewn, trade: $5.00, deluxe: sold out

Poems and short stories, 1996 - 2005

The paperback edition is 120 pages, perfect bound with a groovy full-color cover.

The special hardcover edition is limited to 26 signed, lettered copies and includes a bookmark that contains a poem not in the paperback edition, and a one-of-a-kind original ink poem tipped in (that means it's attached to the inside of the book, baby). If you really think you might want the hardcover, you might want to pick one up sooner than later because much of the edition is gone. Yes, I know, I am as surprised as you are.

120 pages, 9 x 6", Paperback $9.99, deluxe hardcover with original art $79.99

I WRITE THIS POEM DIRECTLY IN THE STICK is a hand set and letterpressed poem that was actually written as the type was picked up out of the case. The poem will be available only on these cards - it will never be published anywhere else!

This unique piece is 8 x 6 inches, set in 10 point ATF Century Schoolbook type, and printed in three colors on 80# laid ivory cards, on an 1890's era 5 x 7 platen press. It is limited to 50 signed, numbered copies (though only 40 were made available for purchase).

Comes complete with genuine uneven letterpress printing!

And a real spelling error!

Be one of only 40 people in the world to own this poem, art work, printing project, conceptual art piece...however you define it, there is nothing else like it. Guaranteed by mjp!

LIMITED EDITION - $29.95

After more than 10 years or searching I have finally tracked down the remaining, brand new old copies of alternative man. They were found in a sealed box in the corner of a decommissioned ICBM silo in New Mexico, but that's all I can say about it. Let the rejoicing begin. Or something.

71 pages, 8.5 x 5.5", perfect bound, $8.95

Musician turned writer has a keen eye for humor, pathos, & the bizarre in these short pieces. - Bookpeople

[alternative man] contains some of the best stuff by a new writer in or out of the small presses. - Andersen Prunty, Absent magazine

Imaginary reality and the hard, cold merge in tales dominated by characters whirled in confusion and odd determination. An old-school punk, tempered (slightly) and swollen with skill. - Christopher M., First Class magazine

let me tip the hat to the poet Michael Phillips! the book - 'Alternative man' was a great read - I'm going to share his stuff with my crowd. - Ulvis Alberts

The fiction has to be the strangest...the five star fucked-up award goes to "anything for a quid", about a guy who visits a prostitute in England who turns her clients on with a monkey puppet made of socks. - Michael Halchin, Bleeding Velvet Octopus magazine

Featuring work by letterpress artists Tara Bryan, Tim Dunn, Bryan Hutcheson, Michael Phillips, Boris Savic and Gail Watson.

Includes the mjp poem Still No Sign of Osama bin Laden, hand set and printed on my late 1800's letterpress! Astounding, yeah? Well, interesting anyway. And a lot of nice work on the other cards (samples below -- note that not all of the cards are pictured here).

Front view with band

Rear view with band

Front view without band

Johnny Brewton's letterpressed X-RAY collections sell on the secondary market for $150 to $200 per issue. This collection is equal in quality to the very best X-RAY releases, in my humble (and extremely biased) opinion.

EXTREMELY LIMITED AND RARE - $79.99

Set of three chapbooks. Edition of 50, numbered and signed, with original hand made block print covers.

I made these myself because alternative man was over a year and a half late in being published and distributed and people were openly mocking me; "So...where's that book you are always talking about? Ha ha ha!"

Had I stopped to think about how much work it would actually be hand print 150 covers and assemble 150 books I would have never started, but once I was ankle deep in it I couldn't stop. I think I sold these sets for $10, which, in retrospect, seems insane. But I'm like Crazy Eddie, man, slashing prices to the bone! At least back in those days.

Sorry, sold out