Junípero Serra: “Say my name!”

Junípero Serra was a Spanish Friar (you can tell by the haircut) who established the first California missions. The missions are nice places to visit if you like California history and looking at “historical” things that were almost completely rebuilt in the 20th century from the remnants of crumbling piles of adobe and rotten wood.

Personally I do like those kinds of things, so I’ve been to a lot of the missions. If you think your life is tough, go to one of the missions that’s out in the middle of nowhere and imagine living there, with those resources and meager comforts. The people who settled the West were some badasses.

mission


Cross pollinating

I mentioned the new podcast here, but I thought I’d post some links in a cross-promotional kind of way. If you like the blog, you’ll like the podcast. I’m right there in your earbuds, like we’re on a romantic date.

This is not a test, number 3: Los Angeles artist Carol Es
This is not a test, number 2: The senseless, tragic rape of Charles Bukowski’s ghost
This is not a test, number 1: Getting to know you


Polaroid rage

polaroid-jp-smI’ve always loved Polaroid cameras. But apparently Polaroid didn’t love them as much as I did, because they stopped making film in 2008. That was bad news for everyone involved, or at least for me, and when I realized that the film was no longer on every drugstore shelf in the free world, I accepted the inevitable, sold my wonderful Spectra Pro and forgot about the whole thing.

Well, I forgot about it until I watched a documentary called Time Zero: The Last Year of Polaroid Film. That’s when I learned that a magnificent lunatic named “Doc” bought up the equipment in the last working Polaroid film factory somewhere in the Netherlands, put together a team of like-minded visionaries and set out to recreate instant film.


This is (sort of) not a test

The first episode of the podcast is up. I’m waiting for approval from iTunes before I really try to promote the thing, because iTunes is where it’s at apparently for the podcast thing. So here’s a sneak peek. You can be first.


In your ears

Oh look, he’s back.

It’s been a few months, for those of you who didn’t realize I was gone.

You’re probably thinking I ran out of things to say, but that’s not it. I have a few posts here that I’ve written but haven’t published. So my absence wasn’t due to a lack of ideas.

what-to-write

No, what’s been occupying my time is I’ve been planning a podcast!


Ten years old, anything goes, all you ever knew was a bone-shaped phone

Hey, Johnny wantsta borrow yer phone...he'll give it right back, promise.

The latest Apple iPhone went on sale today, with all of the now typical hysteria and hyperbole.

People are sleeping in front of the Apple store? Oh. Again? Huh.

But it’s still news, man, gotta get some cameras down there to lock it all down for posterity. So future generations can look back and clearly see what a wiggly mass of stone cold geniuses we were.


What’s all this talk about The Ass Bucket Challenge?

Sorry, I had to channel my inner Emily Litella for this one (kids, go ahead and Google that name). I know we’re all human and therefore susceptible to trends and peer pressure, but this ice water/bucket mania sweeping the Western world feels like more of a desperate look at me kind of thing than it does anyone really caring about what the stunt is supposed to “raise awareness” for. WATCH THIS! SOMEONE IS POURING WATER ON ME! THAT’S HOW MUCH I CARE!


Comic-Con, WonderCon, Short Con, Long Con

All the Cons with their sold-out convention centers full of unwashed masses engaging in elaborate cosplay – I have to say, I don’t get it.

Okay, that’s not completely true. I do understand why some young men might enjoy going to these things…

conwonder1


Time will tell

The beard of wonderMy hair is long, as it often tends to be, and lately I’ve been letting my beard grow. It’s been doing its own thing for almost five months, so it’s about as long as it’s ever been. Unlike (some of) the hair on my head, the beard is almost all white. I wear jeans every day, and usually a t-shirt, sometimes a shirt that buttons up, if there’s a meeting or I want to look like what passes as professional in my business. That doesn’t take much.


The shockingly simple secret: 10 ways to write 18 lists of 12

10waysPeople love to read lists, it’s a scientific fact!

Do you want to grab your share of those potential eyeballs? Use these top secret SEO tricks to send your clickrates through the roof and boost your content to the top of the first SERP! Just follow these shockingly simple steps:


The Holstee Manifesto, or; If you have to tell me how cool you are, you aren’t cool

Have you seen “The Holstee Manifesto”?

8

Holstee is a company – oh, sorry, I mean a group of “cyclists, illustrators, surfers, builders, yogis, pizza-lovers, climbers, and creators” – who sell $36 posters (plus $10.54 shipping) and $4 dollar a pop inspirational/aspirational note cards (six to a pack, $10.54 shipping).

So if you need, say, a big green number eight for your wall, and you have $50 in your budget for big green numbers, they can hook you up.


You gotta stomp, baby!

You probably know a guitar player. They are everywhere, like ants or citrus fungus. You can’t stretch your legs without kicking a guitar player. If that guitar player plays an electric guitar, odds are they have at least one effects pedal (and if they have one they probably have half a dozen). Guitarists call these effects stomp boxes, because they sit on the floor and you, well, stomp on them to turn them on and off.


Oh, did you say something?

Well, this is funny.


It’s for you…it’s the future calling

Phone

I retired my HTC Android space phone after using it for a year. It did a lot of cool things. A lot of cool, unnecessary things. And it cost a lot of money. Money that was ultimately wasted because I never used any of those cool, unnecessary things.

I mean, not never. I did use two apps quite a bit. The Chase bank app for depositing checks, and the Fresh and Easy coupon app (because that’s where 99% of our food comes from). So the question was, is it worth a thousand dollars a year to deposit a check once a month and to avoid printing out some coupons?


The tragic flogging of a dead rape horse, a.k.a. locking the door on Bukowski’s ghost and throwing away the key

I have another long post here that I have been waiting to publish. It’s called, The senseless, tragic rape of Charles Bukowski’s ghost; John Martin speaks. It was meant to be the final part of the series (which was never meant to be a series in the first place) but I can’t bring myself to post it, so I think I’m going to mothball the thing.