12 steps away from the screen, running

giamattiEvery time I see actor Paul Giamatti in a movie, he’s good. He was downright excellent as Harvey Pekar in American Splendor. So when I heard that the best actor academy award was going to be between Giamatti and Jamie Fox, I was pulling for Giamatti to win it.

To tell the truth, I don’t really care who wins an academy award, but I’m always down for the underdog in any contest. Now, having recently seen Ray and Sideways, I don’t think either one of them should win anything. Ever.

If there are two more boring movies out there, I can’t think of them. God damn, those movies are crap. I assumed Ray would be somewhat sucky, seeing as it was so popular (the Star Wars effect), but I saw a “Making of Ray” short that was pretty good, so I was looking forward to seeing it.

First of all, way too much junkie shit. Okay, okay, I get it, Ray Charles had a smack habit. Does that really need to take up two thirds of the movie? There’s nothing more boring – in real life or on film – than a fucking junkie. The movie was an hour too long as it was, so here’s some free advice to director Taylor Hackford; cut out 90% of the junkie scenes, throw in some gunplay (ala Ray’s character in the Blues Brothers), and you’ve got yourself a movie. Otherwise all you’ve got is a snore-fest.

Sideways – I saw it last week and I can barely remember any of it. it was so lauded and talked up that I expected it to fall short of the hype in some respects, but I didn’t expect to be wondering if I should go out and water the lawn in the middle of the movie. So very boring.

No Days of Wine and Roses here folks. No Lost Weekend, Leaving Las Vegas or Barfly. Now those were memorable drunks. You just want everyone in Sideways to die so the DVD can end.

eternalSo there you go, two thumbs down for Ray and Sideways. Jim Carey should have got the damned best actor award anyway, for Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. The best movie of the millennium, hands down.

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