And who the hell figured QWERTY was a good idea?

I had to switch to Windows XP on my work computer (hey, early adopters are suckers!) and while I’ve been able to make it work like Windows 2000 for the most part (instead of the default Fischer Price “My First Computer” look of XP), they took the old ctrl + alt + del method for locking the computer and moved it to Windows + l.

For six years I’ve been doing ctrl + alt + del before I walk away from my desk, but now that only brings up the task manager, not the shutdown/lock options.

This is a stupid little detail and boring as hell to read about, I’m sure, but come on, man. Why the hell do they do these senseless things? You old geezers who ran Windows 3.1 certainly remember that the window shutdown option was at the upper left of each window. Then along came Windows 95 and the option was moved to the upper right corner.

What is that? They’re just fucking with us to have something to keep them amused up there in Redmond, methinks.


So watch for the next version of Windows (code name: BOVINE), which will feature more talking dogs, bubbly, dead-eyed manga characters and a brand new ‘Hello Kitty’ key on your keyboard that controls all of the system functions. I can’t wait.

Maybe it’s time to go Mac, now that they are running UNIX…

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