Archive for the ‘Internet’ category


Google…seriously?

So I was minding my own business, looking online for a larger or better version of this promo photo of Boom Shaka:


“I am currently at work putting together a quote”

I’m posting this in lieu of actual entertainment. It’s an email exchange with an insurance salesman. It came out of nowhere and was addressed to “Kevin Healy,” which ain’t me. The subject line was, “I am currently at work putting together a quote.”

This was sent to a common-word gmail address I’ve had forever that gets an unusual amount of weird mail. Why people type email addresses that they don’t own into forms when they want a response is a mystery to me, but then most things people do are a mystery to me…


How to do everything wrong

I told you that a podcast ate my blog, but other than that I haven’t said much about it around here. Maybe because I don’t see much separation between here and there, but I suppose there is some separation. I’ve been putting out a podcast every week for six months now, so this may be a good time to sum up the experience so far. I’ll say up front that I should be writing the next podcast rather than writing this, which should give you some idea of what the schedule is like.

wrongEBefore I do anything I haven’t done before I like to find out as much about the thing as I can. I don’t mind making mistakes, but unnecessary mistakes are for fools. And I’m no fool! Right? Okay, that’s debatable. But I spent weeks researching podcasting because I really didn’t know anything about it. I didn’t listen to podcasts and I only had a vague idea of how it all worked technically. In that research I learned how to do everything the right way, then I went off and did just about everything wrong.


A podcast ate my blog!

When I started the podcast I thought it would be no big thing, and I’d still be posting here in the blog. As with so many things in life though, I was quite wrong.

As it turns out, the podcast eats up huge chunks of my time. I write most of it down before I say it into a microphone, and that means I’m writing about 4,000 words each week for a 30 minute podcast. To put that into perspective, the longest posts here in the blog have been 1,400 or 1,500 words.

listening


I’m an expert at the Internet

I moved the site to a new server almost a month ago and I just now noticed that all the direct links to the articles have been broken since then.

You’d think after 20 years I’d know how to do this shit, but apparently I’m not so good at it.

schlitz-ad


This is (sort of) not a test

The first episode of the podcast is up. I’m waiting for approval from iTunes before I really try to promote the thing, because iTunes is where it’s at apparently for the podcast thing. So here’s a sneak peek. You can be first.


The shockingly simple secret: 10 ways to write 18 lists of 12

10waysPeople love to read lists, it’s a scientific fact!

Do you want to grab your share of those potential eyeballs? Use these top secret SEO tricks to send your clickrates through the roof and boost your content to the top of the first SERP! Just follow these shockingly simple steps:


The Holstee Manifesto, or; If you have to tell me how cool you are, you aren’t cool

Have you seen “The Holstee Manifesto”?

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Holstee is a company – oh, sorry, I mean a group of “cyclists, illustrators, surfers, builders, yogis, pizza-lovers, climbers, and creators” – who sell $36 posters (plus $10.54 shipping) and $4 dollar a pop inspirational/aspirational note cards (six to a pack, $10.54 shipping).

So if you need, say, a big green number eight for your wall, and you have $50 in your budget for big green numbers, they can hook you up.


You gotta stomp, baby!

You probably know a guitar player. They are everywhere, like ants or citrus fungus. You can’t stretch your legs without kicking a guitar player. If that guitar player plays an electric guitar, odds are they have at least one effects pedal (and if they have one they probably have half a dozen). Guitarists call these effects stomp boxes, because they sit on the floor and you, well, stomp on them to turn them on and off.


Oh, did you say something?

Well, this is funny.

superman


It’s for you…it’s the future calling

Phone

I retired my HTC Android space phone after using it for a year. It did a lot of cool things. A lot of cool, unnecessary things. And it cost a lot of money. Money that was ultimately wasted because I never used any of those cool, unnecessary things.

I mean, not never. I did use two apps quite a bit. The Chase bank app for depositing checks, and the Fresh and Easy coupon app (because that’s where 99% of our food comes from). So the question was, is it worth a thousand dollars a year to deposit a check once a month and to avoid printing out some coupons?


The tragic flogging of a dead rape horse, a.k.a. locking the door on Bukowski’s ghost and throwing away the key

I have another long post here that I have been waiting to publish. It’s called, The senseless, tragic rape of Charles Bukowski’s ghost; John Martin speaks. It was meant to be the final part of the series (which was never meant to be a series in the first place) but I can’t bring myself to post it, so I think I’m going to mothball the thing.


PRISM, NSA and the illusion of privacy

eavesdropping-danger-290x290The NSA “PRISM” outcry that is threatening to take over the Internet is pretty funny, considering the NSA exists for the sole purpose of listening to everything, and that is exactly what it has done for the past 60 years.

I guess no one cared in the past because it was only their telephone calls, telegrams, telexes and radio broadcasts being scanned. Now that it’s important shit like your Tweets, well, that’s not okay!


Hooray! It’s the mailman!

mailman1I’ve been considering running a month-long promotion to give away electronic versions of my books. I figure the typical person who would dig what I’m doing here might also be a book collector, so giving away the Kindle or iPad versions could spur some sales of the real things. You know, the ink on paper ones.

Offering the freebies is easy enough, but how to do it? I’m posting here, but since the blog has only recently been reanimated, readership is still pretty low. I could post on Google+, my favorite online doohickey (and I will), but what if I want to know more about the people who take me up on the offer (and be able to offer them stuff again, later)?


Meet the new blog, same as the old blog

Here we are, in a new – something.

For years I had a blog, then I got tired of writing in it and shut it down. Now look at me, I’m back. Most of the posts from the old blog are back too, like it or not.