If I were a carpenter

So, I’m sitting here at the kitchen table listening to KPCC, the local public radio station, and of course they are talking about the fires that are burning down half the county. At about 10:40 they had a conversation with Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa.

He said the typical things they say when these fires happen every year, then to wrap up, the host asked, “Mayor Villaraigosa, if you could say just one thing to the people of Los Angeles right now, what would it be?”

The mayor let out a dramatic sigh and said, “I would say that everyone should pray for the people who have lost their homes…”


Dear mayor, if my house burns down or is flattened in an earthquake or a riot, please – please don’t pray for me. Don’t ask JESUS, Allah, Joseph Smith, Guru Nanak, Buddha, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, Yahweh or Meher Baba to help me.

Don’t ask the Smurfs, don’t wish upon a star, don’t leave a note for the tooth fairy. If you’re going to do anything, call Jimmy Carter. At least that fucker knows how to swing a hammer and put up a new wall.

Seriously. Pray? That’s what people who were just burned out of their houses need? Prayer? Is everyone in America mentally retarded, or what? “Those fires, yeah, wow boy, that is awful. Well, I did everything I could. I prayed.”

Yeah. Okay.

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