Ten years old, anything goes, all you ever knew was a bone-shaped phone

The latest Apple iPhone went on sale today, with all of the now typical hysteria and hyperbole.

People are sleeping in front of the Apple store? Oh. Again? Huh.

But it’s still news, man, gotta get some cameras down there to lock it all down for posterity. So future generations can look back and clearly see what a wiggly mass of stone cold geniuses we were.

We think we’re geniuses, with our apps and our latte foam art, but we’re dumber than the hillbillies who sat on poles or did dance marathons or kissing contests almost a century ago to win a prize (but really to publicize some furniture store or radio station).

We’re so god damned bored and stupid that we lose our minds over the most recent version of a phone that the people waiting in line to buy already have in their pocket. Compared to that, pole sitting is Shakespearean drama.

Is this what Rome looked like before the fall? Were the Mayans and Egyptians flocking to see the latest magician or conjurer right before their empires were buried under dust and vines?

I have to think this is our final act. Half the world is busy figuring out ways to murder the other half, who are all too busy photographing their lunches and complaining that there’s no wifi in the toilet to realize that they are headed off a cliff.

We’re living in an old Twilight Zone episode and we don’t even realize that we’re following a script. All of humanity’s originality is gone. All of the fuck it, I’ll get into that ship! pioneering craziness that brought us ever closer to what we thought was a great future, but really only deposited us where we are now. Which is nowhere, baby.

Just like this post. There’s no great insight here, nothing you haven’t heard before or didn’t already know. We just keep going in ever tightening circles, all of us. Me too. So now what?

I don’t know. Do you?

I’m just exhausted from all this blogging!